The plan

Everyday I keep telling myself I will start and don't actually do, I think I'll start this weekend, next week, next month - and nothing's happening. I am at 166. So one pound in one month. Not good enough.

Two good things happened this week.

1. My husband won a Wii and Wii Fit. So I am really looking forward to using both and finding a program for fitness.


2.Yesterday, I picked up a copy of May's Family Circle (I really wanted to read OK's Biggest Loser makeovers, but that was 3.99 and FC was only 1.99) - ANYWAY - this month's Family Circle kicks off their Walking Challenge 2009.
As of Monday, April 13, you can log in and register for prizes they will be giving away each week - workout clothes, a treadmill. There's 3 different starter walking plans in the magazine and each June and July magazines will follow this Challenge. The first 1000 people to sign up on the 13 'win' a pedometer.

So I am staying up til midnight, logging in and joining the Walking Challenge. I can track my progess and follow others and maybe WIN something -besides just my fabulous new body.

You can join too at www.familycircle.com/walk2009.

This week is spring break for me - so a perfect time to start a new spring routine.

Of Coke and Cookies

Part I
I am a Coca-Cola addict. I would happily hook myself up to an IV of Coke if I knew it would sustain me. And I know it is so bad for me - not just the sugar, the calories, the 'arficialness', but the caffeine, the headaches, the anxiety. At one time, I drank 6+ cans a day - and ended up with a nervous breakdown. No lie. I gave up Coke for more than a year and believed myself cured and then went back to the Devil's Brew. There is no AA for Coca Cola.
I convinced myself that 'Diet Coke' was ok, that 'Coke Zero' really WAS just like the original and that it would bring me that all important moment of bliss with every sip. And I can fake it for a while, but get me around 'real' Coke and I'm a goner. Ask my mom what I'm like over the Holidays - because in her house, they buy the good stuff.
Prices on soda products have more than doubled and I still rationalize a good deal to buy some Diet Coke, but this week the sale was on a Target with no Coke Zero to be found and a husband who believes Diet Coke doesn't taste right, it had me believing I could drink 'real' Coke just this week - not thinking that maybe I just shouldn't buy any at all.
It's an 18-can pack. I'm sure it'll be gone by Thursday. 18x150= gaining weight

Part II
Today, I packed a healthy lunch of a sandwich, grapes, yogurt, and Honey Bee graham cookies. I ate the sandwich and a few grapes, all the cookies. Then my friend brought me back a chocolate chip cookie from the cafeteria. I ate that too.
I love sweets; I know I can live without them, but refuse to do so, and by lunchtime my carb intake is at a low and if given the opportunity I will become a cookie monster. And what's ridiculous is I KNOW what to do, I made a commitment to do it right - and I'm still eating the cookies.
I was fooling myself with the Honey Bees - graham crackers shaped like bees don't mean they're any healthier than other cookies - they just make me smile and feel like I'm eating less than I am. I'm going to look like a honey bee if I don't knock this off.

Well, tomorrow, my challenge is to defeat the cookie monster and just say no to Coke. Can I do it? Probably not. But I will feel a triumph if the 18 cans last past Saturday and the cookie box has any left by Friday's lunch.

Self-help and Lucy Lu

So - I didn't make it to the gym. I can pay for my son to join T-ball this month, or I can join the gym. Needless to say - he gets to play T-ball. And there's nothing wrong with that. I know you don't need a gym to get fit - but even just some good weather would be good right now. We've had 5 days straight of rain. It's hard to make a new start on a 45 degree rainy day. Excuses, excuses, I know. I get paid at the end of the month, so I get to join in April.

Last summer, I would be up at 5:30 every morning and walk my dog before work. Now, it's dark and I don't even want to crawl out into the damp dark morning at 6. In a few weeks daylight should catch up with wake up time, and will I then get Lucy Lu out for a walk? No matter how awful or lazy I feel -she's always up for a good walk the moment she sees my shoes- but even she crosses the line at heavy downpours.

So I have been indoors reading self-help books. Currently I am reading Victoria Osteen's Love Your Life. It's easy to read, but I'm trudging through it and taking notes and underlining every word of wisdom I want to later cut out and post on my 'vision board' - you know, the one to keep me focused on goals and dreams, the one I have a vision of creating at some point. For a long time I have allowed myself to become focused on every negative problem in life and now I really need to focus on the positive.

In the book is the idea that there is a God option in life, and I need to be more aware of His plan for me regardless of what I thought it was. It is actually a very helpful thought to me as things haven't quite gone the way I would like professionally or personally this year. It's stuff I should 'know,' but this book is a helpful reminder of the obvious. Like a little pep-talk.

So, the God option is out there and I think I know what it is, but I will continue to pray. I do know that one thing God wants for me is to be healthy.

So if the sun comes out this week, I know the "Lucy option" is she gets to go for a walk, maybe even a run. And there's nothing she likes more than running though flooded ditches and mud puddles.
So, she's not much on rain, but likes the aftermath. Kinda like I'm not much on exercise, but love the aftermath. The rain is over, and the exercise is about to begin.

Today is the day

Why have a blog? For a year now everyone seems to 'blog' and I tried it, but felt that there was no purpose in me having a blog because I have nothing to say and didn't feel the need to blog daily 'stuff.' But, in December 2008 I realized I could do a blog geared towards changing my life, and possibly the lives of others, about getting healthy, or at least healthier, mentally, spiritually, and physically.

So where does my story begin and where is it going from here?
Thanksgiving 2007, after dinner, I sat among family members and realized I was fat. My husband was fat. And how did we get there? He was a 'member' of a gym, but didn't go and I was doing nothing.

A few days later I weighed myself and was 191. I knew that 200 was not far away. I wore a size 16. That day, I added my name to the gym membership, went at least 3 days a week, started eating healthier and by March people started asking me if I was losing weight. By May I weighed 161 and wore a size 11/12, people commented that I looked really good - like my old self (ok, so my old self was 125 and a size 8 a LONG time ago and may never come back) .

When summer came, things got busy, I was confident, and started going to the gym less and less, by fall the economy was crashing, my bank account was in negatives and I gave up my gym membership. Winter came and holidays and traveling and eating fast food, and slowly the scale started moving up, and the clothes that once hung off my hips were startingto fit again.

So, today I weigh 167. I am going back to the gym today to start all over. But I know there's lots to do. My goal is another 20 pounds, maybe by July. I want this blog to be my place of accountability. I want to know that people are watching what I do, expecting great things for me and, better yet, for themselves. We can all do this together.

So, friends have coupon blogs, religion blogs, family blogs, and financial blogs, now mine is a health blog, and I will include everything that helps or hinders the search for a better me.

So, what are your goals? What do you have to do? Let the conversation begin.